Of Apathy and Ambition

SO it’s been a zombified weekend for me. Spent most of it mindlessly playing Tomb Raider games on my livestream – I dug into one helluva marathon heh. It’s fun to get to share my passion with the viewers, who stroke my ego with the ‘oohs and aahs’ prompted by Lara’s smooth execution of a complicated jump sequence. Did you know I hold the world’s record for only person to bother to play Tomb Raider 2 from start to finish with nothing but the harpoon gun? Hah xP

But today I am going to the school to schmooze the dean into accepting me, and I had to submit an essay to my financial aid officer declaring the same. My GED confirmation hasn’t arrived in the mail yet, but otherwise everything should be in order. I created a page for my dad to sign declaring I live in his residence and that he declares me as dependent on his taxes. I wrote a big ass-kissing three-part essay declaring my dedication (gosh if someone would go to that effort for me!) and then summarized it to write a “Personal Statement” intended to go in my files on record, surely. I took a shower and washed some clothes. That’s really saying something.

I think I’ve dotted all my i’s. What if I over-dotted? D= I fear being labeled as pretentious, or worse – a disappointment. I know all too well how expectations lead to failures. How to maintain a balance of ambition and detachment, I’ve not yet learned.

For the hell of it, here below I post my essay. If any readers feel it’s too sappy or too ass-kissey or too wordy or too smug, then at least I know I made you feel something that came from me.

Of Apathy and Ambition

My name is Serena and I am determined to earn this degree through College America and change my life. Among the myriad of practical reasons for such an ambition rests also the personal motto “Knowledge without action is useless”, so for my own personal freedom I shall complete this goal; for the medical care I can better access, and for the sake of progressivism as a whole.

It is for the sake of all those throughout history that could not have this opportunity that I am motivated to do this. For all the people who lived and died illiterate and oppressed, each one of us who strives to better ourselves also betters the world around them. When one wonders why help and support is not available, one must also ask how their selves may offer the same. I want to be part of the healthy progression of humanity, and I believe the medical assistant’s field would be perfect for me. When I complete this course, I will be in a better position to improve the lives of others.

It is also for the sake of my own health and longevity that I will earn this degree. Without the kind of income that affords modern medical healthcare, I am concerned with the quality of life I can sustain and the costs to myself, my family, and my community if I cannot ensure healthy longevity. My lifestyle will be completely turned around if I am able to earn a living wage as I am currently thirty-two years of age and have never owned a car. The ability to live on my own and afford my own amenities will make all the difference in the world.

The discipline required to complete this goal will change my life as well. During the course of study I will be challenged to maintain structure and deadlines, for which I am rather excited about; it will feel good to know that people have expectations of me and a vested interest in my success. I am excited to learn the course content as well as I am excited to become a part of a community.

I am dedicated to the pursuit of a degree with this college, for I crave the attachment and pride that will come with completion. I also desire a higher earning potential that will allow me to live a more independent lifestyle. Finally, my humanism compels me to work to improve the lives of others.

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3 Responses to Of Apathy and Ambition

  1. yunakitten says:

    🙂 I’m so proud of youuuu ❤

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